My father-in-law was in town this weekend and we went out to eat a couple times. I like when he is in town because we get to enjoy good meals and some good conversation.

Daphne, my daughter, has become harder to take out places. She ends up screaming at the wrong time, and for whatever reason, she becomes inconsolable. One thing that can keep her happy and occupied is something to chew on.

So, we are in a restaurant, and I ask if they can get me a celery stick or a carrot stick or any hard vegetable that she could chew on because she is a person to, and in almost every case, I have had a hard time getting anyone to comply with my requests.

One particular one stands out.

“Waitress, can I please get a celery stick or carrot stick or really any hard vegetable for my daughter.”

“You know, there is a toy store next door, I’m sure you can buy something over there.”

WHAT?

What kind of a response is that? I am in a restaurant and I want some food for my baby and they redirect me to the toy store?

Later, the waitress came back with a little piece of vegetable that she had taken off of someone’s salad.

“Here you are miss, I had to check to make sure that we had enough for the rest of the day, but I was able to find this for her, I hope it helps.”

And it did help, but what kind of a restaurant can’t spare a piece of hard vegetable without checking to see if they were going to run out?

And thus ends my rant, but I do feel that there could be better service for mamas with babies that need something to eat in a restaurant. My tipping will reflect this in the future.

My father-in-law was in town this weekend and we went out to eat a couple times. I like when he is in town because we get to enjoy good meals and some good conversation.

Daphne, my daughter, has become harder to take out places. She ends up screaming at the wrong time, and for whatever reason, she becomes inconsolable. One thing that can keep her happy and occupied is something to chew on.

So, we are in a restaurant, and I ask if they can get me a celery stick or a carrot stick or any hard vegetable that she could chew on because she is a person to, and in almost every case, I have had a hard time getting anyone to comply with my requests.

One particular one stands out.

“Waitress, can I please get a celery stick or carrot stick or really any hard vegetable for my daughter.”

“You know, there is a toy store next door, I’m sure you can buy something over there.”

WHAT?

What kind of a response is that? I am in a restaurant and I want some food for my baby and they redirect me to the toy store?

Later, the waitress came back with a little piece of vegetable that she had taken off of someone’s salad.

“Here you are miss, I had to check to make sure that we had enough for the rest of the day, but I was able to find this for her, I hope it helps.”

And it did help, but what kind of a restaurant can’t spare a piece of hard vegetable without checking to see if they were going to run out?

And thus ends my rant, but I do feel that there could be better service for mamas with babies that need something to eat in a restaurant. My tipping will reflect this in the future.

I am swamped right now with wedding edits, but when I see a clearing, I will be putting some more photos up.

And, I have some big announcements, but I’m withholding them for a couple days.

Canon recently announced the release of a new camera, the 40D. It was to be predicted since they had a 20D and a 30D.

But I can’t see a reason to upgrade. I love my 30D, it got me through the current wedding season beautifully. I had no problems and it really behaved itself. This camera takes beautiful photographs, and I do not feel a technical limitation to it at all. It can handle my big lens and my big flash, and it takes some amazing photos.

So, no upgrade for me. I’m sticking with the 30D for a while!

I don’t really know why, but I have a particular obsession with milling and mills.

When I was in Greece, I spent an entire semester of school riding around finding windmills that were once used to mill grain, and I took photos of them. I was sad that they were being allowed to turn to dust after such an amazing tradition of milling grain with donkeys and the power of the wind had taken place for thousands of years. In many cases, the windmills were just a pile of rubble. One of them was in really wonderful condition, but it wasn’t in current use. No one wanted to take over the milling industry.

And how crazy those people are for not wanting to continue such an amazing food tradition.

Now that I am back at home and back in reality, I have decided to act as my own miller. I got a grain mill the other day, and I have used it, and I love it.

It is only a stone mill. The bottom is stone and the top is stone, and there is a crank that you use to grind the grain. It takes a while to get used to, but I made a half pound of flour the other day that I in turn made into pasta. It was really amazing.

I love being a part of the milling tradition, especially the stone milling tradition.

My blog has a lot of random thoughts and comments on it. I’m not sure if this is even exactly appropriate to share with everyone, but I figured that since it has become a big part of who I am as a person that I might as well make it publicly known.

My c-section bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

In this day and age, nearly 1/3 of all women give birth via c-section. That statitc for me is astronomical. I can’t understand why a country with such advanced technology would be so naïve in their approach to childbirth. I really don’t understand how that many women did it. Every day I think about my c-section and have various regrets and upsets surrounding. Some days it feels a little consuming and other days I feel OK about it. The point is, that I don’t understand how women are allowing this epidemic to happen. Even more so, some women are scheduling their c-section, not only is this developmentally dangerous to the baby because they are being taken out before they are full developed, but it is MAJOR surgery, and anyone who wants to go through that including the recovery, is nuts.

America’s c-section rates are nearly 30%, and me, being me, not waking to buy into that crap decided I was going to have a birth out of the hospital. I chose lovely and wonderful little place called Andaluz www.waterbirth.net where there are very neat midwives in very neat surroundings that help women to give birth in the water. It sounded very amazing, and the bonus is that their c-section rate is something like 3% or 5%.

And for those of you that read my birth story, I guess I was a heroine in some regards. Three days of early labor followed by 48 hours of active labor that ended in 5 hours of pushing and a C-section from hell. I was lucky. I recovered pretty well from the surgery, though I do have to admit that now 7 months later I still have pain, tingling and numbness in my scar, and I am only now starting to get back the stomach muscles and nerves that were cut through, and that sucks.

I have a lot of friends that have had babies since I had mine, and they all seem to be able to just go into the birth center and have their babies without any problems, which leaves me in a giant mystery hole as to what happened. I labored a lot longer than many of them, yet they were able to push their babies out with no problems. It baffles me and puts me into a deep roller coaster anytime that I think about it. What happened? Why did I have to undergo the major surgery? Could it have been prevented? What is wrong with me that I had to do this and everyone else can have babies normally with little or no problems?

And I sit in mystery.

People always tell me that the only thing that matters is that I have a beautiful daughter. I suppose that is true, but they have no understanding of the hell that I had to go through with the surgery and the hell that I get to live every day. I get out of the shower every day to a numb and somehow hurting scar that I get to look at every day and treat. It will never go away. My lower tummy will always be sewn up the way that they did it that fateful day when my little girl was born.

And what about future children? What kind of hell am I going to have to go through if I have another baby? Will I be able to make it or will I survive one of the complications in having a VBAC like hemorrhage or even death?

These are all things that Publish PostI get to look at and deal with every day, and it is a kind of hell.

I very much enjoy my daughter, and this c-section reality is not all-consuming, but I have my own bout of self-doubt and personal upset whenever it is rudely brought to my attention that I couldn’t have my baby naturally despite all my efforts to the contrary.

People tell me that I am becoming more and more like a hippie every day, but I think the truth is that I am just starting to show how much I have been changed by my recent experience abroad.

While I was in Italy and Greece, I learned about food traditions. The people there made their own food and they were proud of it. The food that was made every day was family property, and it was valued.Women truly mastered the art of staying at home taking care of the household. It was an honor to raise wonderful children and cook wonderful meals.

When I went to the grocery stores on Paros, there were no boxed ready-made meals. It was unheard of. Chicken was raw and not preseasoned and individually frozen. There were no boxed macaroni and cheese or other boxed prepared food. It was all home made, and it was all wonderful. I learned while I was there one very important thing.

I learned that there are food traditions that are amazing and wonderful around the world. They are as fabulous and gracious and amazing as the traditions that we have at Christmas, and they are around you all the time–all day every day. Good meals are a big part of being a happy soul.

I don’t understand the people that think they have no time for food, it is just beyond me. Our ancestors were able to settle down and do more than survival activities because they noticed that grains grow when you put them in the earth and they were able to use that to their advantage. I thank our ancestors for this work because it ensures that society can continue to go on and I can have the job I have as a wedding photographer, which would not have otherwise been possible (because no one would have time for leisurely activities like inventing the camera). Our survival is dependent on the food that we eat, and the quality of food that we eat.

The best and most incredible thing that can be done is creating and preparing foods in the traditions of our ancestors for a happy and healthy family.

I roll my own pasta like the Italians have always done. I am starting to mill my own grin with STONE, as all my ancestors have done. I make my own yogurt and sometimes my own butter. I have time to do these things because I believe that food is an inherent part of our culture, and I am not going to buy into the bull that some deadline or some 9-5 job is more important than me fulfilling these food traditions.

Jared took these photos and I edited them. They are really cute and endearing. I love my baby and I am glad that I have these photos.

I haven’t done any photos with Daphne recently, so here are some photos that I took of her yesterday. I think they are cute. They are similar to the 1 and 2 month old photos that I did of her.

Look how much she has grown. Tear.

This toy is one of my favorites. I got one for my nephew Eli when he was 1 and I liked it so much that I was convinced that I needed to get one for my own kid. I love it. It rattles and it squishes. It is totally kid friendly. The other cool thing is that it is not made in China.

Apparently, Daphne likes it too!